Are You Still a Woman of Noble Character?
All married, Christian women know the scripture about a noble woman, Proverbs 31:10. The Bible says, “A wife of noble character who can find?… Her husband has full confidence in her.” But what if that is not the case for you, the Christian, married woman who is struggling with addiction? What if when they look for you, you are at Home of Grace, an addiction rehabilitation center, and your husband’s confidence is wavering? Don’t give up. God still has a plan for your life.
The Noble Woman
Here are some selected verses of Proverbs 31:10 (New International Version):
10 A wife of noble character who can find? 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ship, bringing her food from afar. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Do you think your marriage is beyond repair? Let’s see how science and research explain the unique needs of women in recovery. Then consider how God’s Word provides the answer.
Facts About Christian, Married Women and Substance Abuse
Research studies about married women are almost nonexistent but Psychology Today estimates 12.5 million spouses suffer from addiction. Most data refers to married men but it still reveals the pivotal role of the marriage bond in relation to substance abuse. According to the National Institute of Health, the following facts represent their findings.
- In the alcohol-research literature, low marital satisfaction has been shown to predict poor treatment outcomes. However, marital happiness contributes to positive treatment results.
- Promotion of marital satisfaction through couples therapy…reduced drug use, and promoted better adjustment for the husband and wife.
- Cocaine use among married participants decreased from 68 percent to 57 percent. (Married couples represents the group with the highest success rates outperforming single people and separated couples).
- The American Journal of Public Health reported, “Married individuals are less likely to use cocaine than unmarried individuals.” Also, 2.0 percent of married women vs. 5.1 percent of single women use cocaine.
Women’s Unique Issues
According to Journal of Psychoactive Drugs, “However, treatment for women’s addictions is apt to be ineffective unless it acknowledges the realities of women’s lives, which include the high prevalence of violence and other types of abuse.” Gender-responsive services are needed.
In 2011, about 609,000 of the 1.84 million admissions to substance abuse facilities were females. Women’s concerns include divorce, loss of child custody, or a child’s death. A husband’s death can also be a trigger for substance abuse.
Married Women Who Overcame Obstacles in the Bible
Consider these two women who demonstrated obedience even during stressful situations.
- Leah – First wife of Jacob, a patriarch. She competed with her younger sister, Rachel, for Jacob. However, Leah relied on God, not her own efforts. She did not allow her circumstances to dictate her behavior (Genesis 29:32-35).
- Rebekah – Wife of Isaac, Abraham’s son. Mother of Jacob and Esau, the eldest son. Isaac arranged to give Esau the blessings of the firstborn son. However, Rebekah arranged for Jacob to receive blessings in accordance with God’s will (Genesis 27:1-17).
Couple’s Therapy and Victory Over Substance Abuse
As an addicted spouse, you made mistakes. However, that does not mean your marriage ends in divorce. Your relationship with your non-addicted partner, your husband, is too important. Seek Christian counseling and strive to understand the disease of addiction. You serve a God of restoration. So boldly move forward.
Restoration of a Godly Wife
Follow these steps to restore love and trust:
- She brings him good, not harm
As a person working toward sobriety, you are still a valuable person. In rehab, you learn about dealing with your emotions, identifying triggers and self-control. This kind of groundedness will help you be a full, truly present partner capable of effective communication with your husband. You can help your husband find favor in the gates.
- Works with eager hands
If your work is inside the home, therapy has helped you learn things about yourself you probably did not know. This kind of self-reflection helps you gain inner strength. Now, you are confident and eager to tackle any challenge from selecting wool to make bed coverings to managing an entire household. Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might…(Ecclesiastes 9:10).
- Out of her earnings, she plants vineyards
You will be returning to work soon. You and your Christian counselor will assess your skills so you can resume your career. With God’s help, you will provide for your family’s financial needs once again. Your children will appreciate your hard work and call you blessed.
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised,” says Proverbs 31:30. As a Christian, married woman overcoming an addiction, you are still a noble woman.
If you are struggling with alcohol or drug abuse, contact Home of Grace today at 228-826-5283.